For the ones who have experience disappointment. You are not alone. This is for us!
I’ve been meaning to write this post for about a year; a post about disappointments. Hope deferred, future shattered, and loss. I did not know how to write about it because I didn’t know how to bring it all together. I didn’t want to write about disappointment without a glimpse of hope at the end. I would be doing a disservice to anyone who happens to stomp on this post if I did that. But I am ready now, ready to share about the suffering but also the God who is with us in the suffering. That is how this ends.
The theme of my life is facing disappointment
I was the girl that did what she was supposed to do because she wanted a certain outcome. They tell you 1+1=2. And I did the 1+1 and I never reached the 2. The last 4 years of my life have been plagued with disappointment and sometimes or most times, I struggled and still struggle with being hopeful because being disappointed sucks. I used to think to myself that there is no way one person can experience so much disappointment, so the problem had to be me. Was it possible that I was desiring the wrong things, maybe God was punishing me for having desires at all. Maybe I was making the wrong decisions.
I feel like experiencing disappointment is one of the most dangerous emotions we can encounter because it can leave you passive. You kind of just throw your hands in the air and say things like whatever will be will be. You leave your life to chance, not expecting anything, not working towards anything and just letting life happen to you.
For me, disappointment have left me feeling unworthy of any good thing, it has left me with a negative view on life and just plain old sad.
How to dance upon disappointment
I have always had an issue with people giving testimonies at church because they always seem incomplete. People always share the beginning and end of the story. They tell you what the problem was and jump to the end when God came through. Grateful for the beautiful ending God gave them but I have always been interested in the middle. I always wondered about what happened in the fire? What happened in the valley? What happened when you were in deep waters?
Choosing God in the middle of the storm is dancing on disappointment. Choosing to worship in the lowest of valleys is dancing on disappointment. When you say, “God I don’t know what the heck You’re doing and I am struggling to trust you, I am fighting to believe that You are infinite goodness in this fire, but with the little ounce of faith I have, I’m going to place it in You.” that is dancing on disappointment
I know dancing is often associated with happiness and laughter, but I think dancing is also heart posture. It is a song in your heart with a simple melody and an uncomplicated lyrics reminding you of who God is.
Dancing on disappointment is the name of Jesus and the authority it carries. There is nothing above the name of Jesus which means literally everything is underneath Jesus, including our disappointments. So we speak the name of Jesus over our disappointments and it is suddenly beneath us, and we stomp it with confidence and declare we will surely see the goodness of God. Surely! Because that is just what God does.
Isn’t it just like our God, to turn our disappointment into dance floor.- amanda cooke
